Saturday, September 09, 2006

author notes

Bats: R Throws: R

Cried when hit by pitch in little league game, 5/23/76.

Received "Most Sarcastic" award at little league team’s year-end ceremony, 6/30/77

Scored basket for opponent of own 7th grade basketball squad, 2/11/80.

Committed 3 errors in 1 inning for Babe Ruth League team, 6/09/82.

Quit Babe Ruth League team, 6/10/82.

Drifted around Europe for two months after college, unable to get laid, 9/8/90 – 11/13/90.

Fell off cliff 10 seconds into mountain-biking career, 3/16/95.

Randomly punched in face outside International Bar, Manhattan, 2/12/98.

Fun Facts! Josh has a very limited sense of smell.

Fun Facts! Josh dislikes all fruit with the possible exception of the controversially ambiguous tomato.

Fun Facts! Josh is generally pretty punctual.

Fun Facts! Josh sometimes wakes in the middle of the night hyperventilating, terrified by thoughts of death.

Voted by peers in Lower Manhattan Liquor Clerks League most likely to get overwhelmed by youthful urban team of shoplifters, 1992. In same year, finished third in league voting for most likely to be wounded by gunfire.

Named to Kings County Depressive Freelance Proofreader League All-Rookie Squad, 1996

Led Northern New England League in ennui in both 1998 and 2000

Josh resides in Chicago, where he enjoys taking long aimless walks and visiting the public library.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

his vision ain't none too stellar neither...

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Conventiently forgot to mention the infamous "peach shrapnel" spraying incident....

8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

awfully cute in junior high...but so dog gone shy!

1:12 PM  

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